Bystanders
Imagine you are at a party or bar or friend's house when someone does something sexually inappropriate. Such as:
- Inappropriate touching or remarks
- Testing or disregarding boundaries
- Inappropriate intimacy
- Attempts to isolate someone from the crowd
- Pressuring someone to drink
- Targeting someone who seems vulnerable
You may be thinking:
- No one else is doing anything; it is not a problem
- The other people don't think this is a problem, maybe I am wrong?
- Someone else is responsible for this person, why should I intervene?
- I don't want to get anyone in trouble.
- I don't want to embarrass myself.
Trust your instincts. Something is inappropriate. Be a bystander!
A bystander is a concerned stranger, friend, roommate, or classmate who refuses to remain silent in the face of abusive behavior or comments. When nothing is done, victims perceive non-action as a lack of concern. Perpetrators perceive non-action as endorsement or approval of their abuse or comments.
Many people do not intervene in a potentially dangerous situation because they are looking to others for cues on how to act or they believe that someone else will intervene. But stopping inappropriate sexual behavior is everyone's responsibility.
Effective intervention techniques:
- If someone makes suggestive remarks, do not laugh or go along with the crowd. Tell the person, politely, that you did not think it was funny.
- If someone appears uncomfortable with another person's advances, ask if they need help.
- Do not leave a friend alone at a party: if you come together, leave together.
- Do not allow someone to be taken away from the party into a quiet area or bedroom.
- Do not let friends become overly intoxicated.
- Call the police if you feel that you cannot safely intervene.
TAKE ACTION. HELP PREVENT SEXUAL VIOLENCE IN OUR COMMUNITY AND IN OUR WORLD.